Silver Thread

with poo.

Jess had to run into Target for a few things and the middle girl was asleep in the back so I stayed in the car with Fin. We had a good time, making faces, playing games, goofing off. He started to look tired, so I turned on the radio and sat back down in the driver’s seat.

Then I heard it. The poo. It rumbled up from down deep. Fin’s eyes glazed over. He was really pushing hard. The gurgle continued. This was a big one. I looked toward the big red Target door. No sign of my wife. This was bad. The gurgle stopped. Then the smell hit me. It was worse. I couldn’t wait for Jess on this one. I was going to have to man up and change this diaper.

I picked him up and laid him down on the floor of the van. Right before I sat him down, my middle daughter woke up and said, “Dad, there’s poo on his pants.”

There was. I got poo on my hands, on the car seat, on the front seat of the van. It was all over the floor mat, all over Fin’s clothes, and up his back. I pulled off the diaper, and it was practically empty. The poo went everywhere but in the diaper.

I went through an entire travel case of wipes. I still had a lot of cleaning up to do, and I needed a whole new outfit. I called my wife and gave her the Def Con Poo status, and figured since she was in Target, she could pick up some of the stuff we needed. She didn’t answer. She was in line and checking out and didn’t get to her phone in time. I was up to my elbows in poo and there was nothing I could do about it.

Then, Jess came back with the eldest and all the Target purchases and saw me standing in the cold with poo all over me and Fin crying while snow blew up his bare butt and his clothes and the diaper scattered in the parking lot and she mercifully took over. She sent me in for wipes and got him all cleaned up with a towel. Our shopping adventure was cut short as we headed right home for a bath.

This has been an afternoon adventure in poo.