Silver Thread

I was 20. So was she. I was not her first. It was pretty robotic. I remember thinking, is this it? This is what I saved my special purpose for? She’d been hinting at for a few weeks, until she couldn’t walk right, and I felt doing it was the polite thing to do. I was getting pretty tired of blue balls, myself. I got a condom out of the dispenser in the basement of our dorm and we put on Prince’s Greatest Hits. I lasted longer than I wanted to (I blame the blue balls) and she told me after that it was better sex than she’d ever had, and in time, I might be pretty good. We dated for a few years but she kept leaving the country, so I finally let her go. We are not friends now. The one thing she left me with that endures is a quote I often use when I want to look like a smart idiot. Something a student she tutored once said to her. “I consider myself intelligent; I’m into The Lectuals.”

I don’t wonder what she’s doing now and I don’t care if I ever talk to her again but I would love it if she was secretly reading my Tumblr.