on hold

a Thursday Theme entry

I want roses in my garden bower, dig? Royal babies, rubies, must now replace aborted strangers in the mud.
- Jim Morrison

Yeah, Jim, I’m feeling it. I want to move out to L.A. like you and be properly inspired by the endless sun and sparkly lights. I want the rock n’ roll lifestyle. I want to see The Dude’s City of Angels. I want to check into Hotel California.

Cabin fever is here. Especially in the middle of a snowstorm, our third major storm this month, and one that is expected to stick around and hover, lumber, stagger, then finally pull away, offering one more big fart blast of snow on our doorstep before leaving us entirely.

I’m out of firewood. I’ll save the few pieces I have left in case we lose power and can’t run the furnace. Our night nurse complained that it was cold last night. She promised to bring wood every time she came, three nights a week. She brought wood twice. I can’t complain. Some wood is better than no wood. And really, it’s not too much to ask in exchange for letting her crash on our couch and eat all our popcorn and do nothing except change the TV channel when I fall asleep.

I’m really looking forward to not needing firewood. I can’t wait until I can walk outside without a jacket, not just to be macho and prove a point when I’m actually freezing, but because I really don’t need a jacket. I want to dust off my basketball and go to the outdoor court. I want to sit on a patio and have a burger and a beer in the sun. I want to drive to Acadia National Park and walk along the garden paths and carriage roads and sit beside the ocean and breathe it all in.

But I can’t. It doesn’t matter what the groundhog saw, spring isn’t here yet. It will be, and it won’t be too long from now. Until then, the warm weather is on hold, and my cabin fever will have to be tamed. I’m beating it back with movie marathons and hot chocolate and games with the kids and bored snacking and alcohol. Here we are, in the dregs of winter. It feels like the opposite of the dog days of summer, which seem to drag, yes, but right now, it feels like experiencing a day that is so hot you can’t stand it is a total impossibility. Right now, you feel like you can’t get warm unless you sit right on top of the stove, and that’s just dangerous.

Spring will be here soon. Winter will loosen its grip, and finally let go of its hold on us. Something will snap. Hopefully not my sanity, like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. Cabin fever is here.