answers to questions

What personality trait of yours do you like the most?
I find a lot of things funny. I try to bring out the humor in everything. If the humor’s not there, I try to make it be there.

What personality trait of yours do you like the least?
I get irritated by very small things. Minor annoyances really set me off. Big ones, ah, what you gonna do?

How much money a year is just enough to not stress about money?
I have no concept of money. That gets me into trouble.

When was the last time you were naked in a public place?  Describe the circumstances.
I changed in a porta-potty the other day and took it all off just for the fun of it.

What subject do you wish you studied harder at, in school, and why?
I wish I had been forced to take shop classes. I also wish I knew more than basic math. I need to be better equipped to fix stuff.

Describe a road you took in your life (not an actual road) and you think perhaps you should have taken a different road?
I kinda wish I had bought a different house. I like my house. I just don’t like the location, the age, the size, basically everything about it, but at the time, the price was right and we didn’t have kids.

Do you believe its a reasonable expectation of society to marry someone for the rest of your life?  Why or why not?
I think it’s reasonable. I also think it’s completely and totally personal. It’s not for everyone, just like being single is not for everyone.

What’s your least favorite sexual position between missionary, doggy style, and girl on top, and why?
Missionary and girl on top are great. I can’t even stand the name of the other one.

How do you like your eggs?
Over hard. Dead, as my dad calls them. No runny yolk whatsoever, and pepper the hell out of ‘em.

What’s your biggest vice?
I like to drink beer. I like it a lot.

What turns you on?
Nudity. The possibility of nudity. Thinking about nudity. A cool breeze on a hot day. A lot of things.

the most disgusting thing I have ever witnessed

That’s easy. Moose stomach. Beside the road. Fresh kill. The body was stripped away and discarded, moved elsewhere. Nothing left but the innards. It looked like something alien, completely foreign, a bloated, mucous-covered, pus-filled bag of meat, or a dripping, tendril-draped, flesh-colored set of bagpipes, or a giant, cold Thanksgiving turkey, ready to fit into some freakishly-large oven. My mouth is watering with fluids as I type this. It gets grosser, though, because my friends and I saw it on the way to school, and it was so strange and fascinating and we were adolescent teenagers, curious about everything, we had no choice but to stop and stare. And all that was fine until someone suggested we poke it with a stick. So we did. We poked it with a stick. It oozed out some green junk and we ran back to the car like little sissies, trying to keep in our breakfast.

5 Things I Want To Change About Myself

1.) I want to be calmer.

2.) I want to be less afraid.

3.) I want to be more trusting.

4.) I want to be more confident.

5.) I want to be freer.

8 Things I Did

1.) Killed a porcupine with a hammer. My grandfather made me.

2.) Laid on the floor with my wife, taking turns shaking my son to make sure he was still breathing, waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Repeatedly.

3.) Didn’t drink a drop of alcohol until I was of age.

4.) Baited bait bags on my father’s lobster boat during summers when I was a kid.

5.) Hit one of my best friends in the head with a blueberry rake.

6.) Been in the same movie theater as Stephen King. Repeatedly.

7.) Rode on a cable car in San Francisco that my father talked his way into operating.

8.) Won a talent show by dancing to “Billie Jean”.

My Men of Tumblr

I could go on and on all day about the women of Tumblr. I can’t about the men. Just kidding. But I’ll keep it simple. And I’m going to forget so many, I apologize in advance.

semicullen - you are like my brother. Epic beard, serious smarts, grounded, similar to me in many ways, but much better with handling meat (for cooking).

dresspants - one of the first to open up to me, and a face I search for every time I’m on tumblr. A gentleman. And, ladies, wow, amirite?

wishinonehand - Ed’s my twin. Even his wife says so. Which is great for me, and hopefully, for him. I’m proud to be associated with this guy in any way. You rock, sir.

mattlike - another guy I can really identify with. Except I would probably never let him babysit my kids. We can drink beer together, maybe watch a game if the NBA ever starts up again. I’ll be rooting against LA, bro.

mattdoucette - a kind, cool, caring person. A great father. A man going through a difficult time with grace and honesty. And that’s a real feat.

2yellows - a total favorite. Strong. You can see it on his face. Great taste in music, and women, if you know bestgirlbetty. Seeing them together makes me so happy. Those two can’t help but warm your heart.

scottfriday - the one and only. I feel like when this dude talks to me, I’m talking to a celebrity. Funny, punny, a straight shooter with a big heart, even if he’d convince you otherwise.

anarchyandscotch - another guy I admire. Every interaction feels like a brush with fame. I have HUGE amounts of respect for his brain. His wit. His storytelling. His presentation. And those videos, man… classic.

eviljason - a father, a brewer, a music lover. His tastes make my tastes look like pop radio 101. But I think we’re a lot alike, and when he hearts one of my posts, I feel like it’s a good one.

meyechael - seems like everywhere I look, there he is. A cool guy, eclectic in his thoughts, posting everything ranging from silly to sincere. I love the way he can drum up a topic out of nothing, and before you know it, it’s a meme.

totallycotally - speaking of memes, you can’t forget Coty. I’ve only squealed with delight a few times when someone followed me back, and this was one of those times. You are the best, man.

To hang with any of these dudes in real life is a goal of mine.

Answers for Meyechael

What is your favorite word? Obtuse.

What is your least favorite word? Guttural.

What sound or noise do you love? A Coke can popping open.

What sound or noise do you hate? Whining.

What turns you on? Ideas.

What turns you off? Pretense.

What profession would you like to attempt? Garbage man.

What profession would you not like to attempt? Law enforcement.

What is your favorite curse word? Goddammit.

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say as you entered the Pearly Gates? Come on in, there’s free beer.

Bonus:  What is your definition of hell? Having to pee real bad and being forced to hold it too long. True freedom is peeing whenever you want.